Hey, kiddos. Handsome Jack here. Got something I wanna share with you.
[The feed briefly switches to video, showing a wall with one of the many ALPHONSE ELRIC AND FRIENDS WERE HERE messages that one is likely to find all over Norfinbury.]
See, this... I mean, don't get me wrong, I- I get what you're trying to do here. Very clever, in a totally useless kinda way. But the thing is, in a civilised environment? This kind of thing is what we call vandalism.
[Complaining about this is petty, and he's fully aware of it. But hey, vandalism does genuinely irritate him, and it's not like he's ever going to get tired of the sound of his own voice. Besides, he can use the opportunity to make a point.]
But don't worry, once I'm in charge of this place, I'm putting a stop to crap like this. Actually, it won't even be necessary! There won't be any shadows or bandits or whatever to worry about. Plus I'll be putting some actual frickin' street signs up, so that's a thing too.
[He pauses to let everyone imagine how amazing and peaceful and awesome everything's going to be under his rule. Which they'd better be doing if they know what's good for them.]
I'm thinking I'll rename the place, too. "Norfinbury" doesn't exactly have an inspiring sound to it. Maybe "New Sanctuary"? 'Cause hey, the old Sanctuary with its bandits and child-murderers and psychopaths might still be flying around somewhere, but I like to think sooner or later they're gonna crash and burn under the weight of just how terrible they are.
So what do you think, kids? I'm looking for some feedback here. As long as it's not, y'know, completely goddamn stupid.
Oh, who am I kidding, of course it's gonna be stupid. But that's okay, I love you anyway. Handsome Jack out.
no subject
Hey, kiddos. Handsome Jack here. Got something I wanna share with you.
[The feed briefly switches to video, showing a wall with one of the many ALPHONSE ELRIC AND FRIENDS WERE HERE messages that one is likely to find all over Norfinbury.]
See, this... I mean, don't get me wrong, I- I get what you're trying to do here. Very clever, in a totally useless kinda way. But the thing is, in a civilised environment? This kind of thing is what we call vandalism.
[Complaining about this is petty, and he's fully aware of it. But hey, vandalism does genuinely irritate him, and it's not like he's ever going to get tired of the sound of his own voice. Besides, he can use the opportunity to make a point.]
But don't worry, once I'm in charge of this place, I'm putting a stop to crap like this. Actually, it won't even be necessary! There won't be any shadows or bandits or whatever to worry about. Plus I'll be putting some actual frickin' street signs up, so that's a thing too.
[He pauses to let everyone imagine how amazing and peaceful and awesome everything's going to be under his rule. Which they'd better be doing if they know what's good for them.]
I'm thinking I'll rename the place, too. "Norfinbury" doesn't exactly have an inspiring sound to it. Maybe "New Sanctuary"? 'Cause hey, the old Sanctuary with its bandits and child-murderers and psychopaths might still be flying around somewhere, but I like to think sooner or later they're gonna crash and burn under the weight of just how terrible they are.
So what do you think, kids? I'm looking for some feedback here. As long as it's not, y'know, completely goddamn stupid.
Oh, who am I kidding, of course it's gonna be stupid. But that's okay, I love you anyway. Handsome Jack out.